Songs to Remember - IX

What does one do if despite all that he or she does, he / she is unable to present her feelings in the eyes of the one he / she desires and loves more than anything else on Earth? What does one do, when despite the best of intents and intentions, a man is unable to put forth the wishes of his heart in front of his beloved, is unable to show his love, is unable to prove what his heart feels for her...... What does one do when words like bullet shells that have no potency once fired, lie embedded within the ambit of the heart -  that same heart they tore apart, while the heart silently bleeds and blobs of red blood cover the entire surface leaving not even a rudimentary remembrance of the bullet shell that contained the deadly assassin....

It's sadly the destiny of the Bullet shell to be felled for the work of the gun and the karma of the Bullet to suffer the ignominy of the blood stains!

Devdas (1956) was one of the few movies that mean a lot to me - undoubtedly the character of Devdas is one of the few that really move me a lot (maybe because Dilip Kumar's performance brings the eternal loser to life and in his sincerity and pain he appears as someone who's very close to my own heart) but what really pained me a lot was the selfless, sacrificing and eternally loving character of Chandramukhi - the so-called courtesan who had a heart that was more precious than Gold and more lovely than satin

In my different posts on the songs that move me a lot, I have often failed to mention a song crafted in eternal pain and deep love by one of my most loved composers, S D Burman and sung by Lata Mangeshkar in her inimitable and painful voice.....

Jise Tu Qubool Kar Le is not a song.... It's a plea for love; a plea for understanding, a plea for compassion, a plea for reciprocation.... the tears of the one who loves is so deeply entrenched in the song that the frustration and deep feeling of loss can be felt in every word of the song....

Not everyone can be like the great Hanuman who could tear open his heart and let the world know the extent of his affection - that Lord Ram was all he could think of, that Lord Ram existed in the deepest reccesses of his heart.... Our Hearts may hold a great deal of love, but unfortunately....that cannot be seen and so it has no value.....

The song begins with a frustrated plea of reason with the lover asking the beloved how she can convince the beloved of the deep love she harbours for him in her heart... Listen to that plea, the request for reciprocity... or at the least... that request for understanding, even if that understanding would not transcend into love.... The feeling of inferiority, the feeling of insufficiency, the feeling of being forever banished from the realms of love is something I would not wish even on my enemies.... just imagine the pain of the one that has been bamnished to this netherland of pain, anguish and tears

Jise Tu Qubool Kar Le Woh Adaa Kahaan Se Laaoon?
Tere Dil Ko Jo Lubhaa Le Woh Sadaa Kahaan Se Laaoon?

This inferiority manifests in the kind of loss of self-esteem that can only pain; this is that facet of love that hurts and hurts and then hurts again - a kind of pain the gnaws within and refuses to go away.....

Look at how the lover describes herself in pain and frustration... Calling herself a flower that has not seen any patrons of her beauty or her smell; recalling that all who have met her have behaved with her insolently, never loving her but always consigning her to the heap of dirt, the woman goes on to lament her her life has flown away from herself like tears that fall from the eyes and are forever consigned to the land of the forgotten and the nameless.....

Her frustration is compounded because even though her own self has been destroyed for the sake of this love, the lover cannot feel the agonizing call of the trodden flower -

Where, Oh, Where will you find a Spring that may grace the garden with the semblance of an Autumn?
As if on cue, since pain such as these have no reason, finally the heart refuses to burn alone and the woman pours out her feeling of anguish.....

Main Woh Phool Hoon Ke Jiss Ko Gayaa Har Koi Masal Ke
Meri Umr Bahe Gayee Hai Mere Aansuon Mein Dhal ke
Jo Bahaar Ban Ke Aaye Woh Khizaa Kahaan Se Laoon? 

Look at the pain with which the heart pours out .... it's not as if the heart does not understand, why there is so deafening a silence to her overtures of love ...... it's just that the heart feels that her love is all-encompassing, all powerful and ... still defeated.....

What can it do? The Beloved burns in the memory of a love that does not leave anything to her...... the pains of a broken heart do not allow the Beloved to see beyond the pain that harbours itself within the precincts of his heart...... What can one do... how can the Beloved love; his love is full of pain-filled memories of a love that destroyed his heart... how can he then reciprocate to the overtures of the lover....

Listen to Lata as she emphasizes and loving carresses each and every one of these words - words that have felled someone in the past and now are felling another.....

Tujhe Aur Ki Tamannaa; Mujhe Teri Aarzoo Hai
Tere Dil Mein Ghum Hi Ghum Hai; Mere Dil Mein Tu Hi Tu Hai
Jo Dilon Ko Chain De De Woh Davaa Kahaan Se Laaoon?

Listen to the feeling of deep pain as the Beloved wonders aloud; nay, begs aloud - where does one get that medicine that may give solace to aggrieved and torn hearts! I wish I knew, I would also get some for myself!And then as if the final realization has dawned and the feeling of defeat has finally made it's place in her heart.... the lover finally crys out to the Good Lord the futility of her tears.... What's the use of tears that show the world the pain of one's deepest feelings but are incompetent to bring onto itself the grace of the Heavens?

Listen to this song someday in solitude and then you will understand why Love is the most difficult emotion that can be ever handled by one.........

A tear that is unable to even rend the hearts of Death and get itself some solace by at least sleeping in the eternal arms of the greatest lover the world has ever seen - Death; what can then be expected of such an unfortunate star-crossed love!

Meri Be-Basi Hai Zaahir Meri Aah-E-Be-Asar Se
Kabhi Maut Bhi Jo Maaggi To Naa Paayee Uss Ke Dar Se
Jo Muraad Le Ke Aaye Woh Duaa Kahaan Se Laaoon?

Oh, the pain of Love! Oh, the impossibility of it all!