Songs to Remember - VI

"How the hell can you be in love? Why the hell should you be in love?" I remembered these words from my school days. Although they were not spoken to me, I do remember the feelings of pain and abrasion I felt that day as if Love was an elite emotion not meant for us commoners. Something like Emperor Akbar warning his son against loving Anarkali. Today, an eternity has passed since that day and both me and my friend are older and yes, I think wiser; but still those words ring in one's mind as if it was said yesterday.

It was so difficult in those days, we were not exactly the best of the male species but the heart - it only knows how to love - and that made things worse - I remembering always muttering a sweet song within me, as if in a escapist tone, hoping as always that 'grapes that cannot be obtained are always sour'

Apni Apni Sab Ne Keh Di; Lekin Hum Chhup-Chhap Rahe
Dard Paraaya, Jisko Bhaaya; Woh Kya Apni Baat Kahe
Khamoshi Ka Ye Afsaana, Reh Jaayega Baad Mere.....
Apna Ke Har Kisi Ko Beghaana Gaayega
Har Dil Jo Pyaar KaregaWoh Gaana Gaayega

I remember being afraid to put forth my feelings; the fear of rejection was always there but more importantly the fear of losing even a glimpse or hearing a voice forever was worse - I am simply unable to understand why girls convert into budding trees of Mimosa pudica the moment a love proposal is announced. It's a love proposal, not a takeover proposal - but there it goes, the guy who dared the impossible is excised from the list of friends forever too.....

And it's in such times that I remember a beautiful song, a song that shows the feelings of one who is in love and deep love but is trying his best to stifle that love deep within his bosom knowing fully well that he cannot succeed but still unready to let that love come in the open

Aayee Zanjeer Ki Jhankar is a beautiful song that plays on this emotion and what a song it is - the pain could have not been more easily drawn - it appears as if a dagger has been stabbed into the victim's heart and from the depths of that screaming heart, love is being drawn out - like one is trying to exorcise pain from the heart in such a way such that the heart does not bleed, unwittingly making it bleed more

The song maybe about a slave and a queen but then isn't every beloved a queen herself -isn't everyone who loves a slave himself, if not to her then to his own feelings of love and emotions - and isn't this the point before which love waits and after which love fights

Do you remember Mohammed Rafi and his strong statement about the futility of trying to stop Love:

Pyaar Ki Aandhi Ruk Na Sakegi Nafrat Ki Deewaaron Se
Khoon-E-Mohabbat Na Sakega Khanjar Se Talwaaron Se

But man shoulders on, hoping to silence the voice of a storm in a breast that may not be able to hold a tea-cup....

Listen to the soft silence of the mountain that hides within it's soft interior the fierce torrent of fire that burns violently within - like a volcano that has been hiding in a dormant mountain for long; whose existence depends on being allowed to burst out but is not ready to let go; the fire of love, the desire of company, the wish of companionship it all stirs within the bosom of the slave but being a slave, the man knows that these desires are forbidden and tries to smite it within itself. The Heart has it's own feelings though and anyways, can one seriously stop the lava from bursting, the wave from rising, the wind from blowing and.... the heart for Loving! And then the heart in the coarse but firm voice of the slave - one who has lived his entire existence in the rumble and tumble of life cries out to the mind, the soul and the God that made it it's helplessness

Aayee Zanjeer Ki Jhankar, Khuda Khair Kare
Dil Hua Kis Ka Giraftaar, Khuda Khair Kare

The Slave cries out loud that his love is chained by the attitudes and feelings of his peers and his circumstances and that this chain of enormous strength is not ready to let go of him... Everytime he tries to move towards his beloved, the voice of the chains that bind him wake him up to his circumstances and he cannot think of beyond it - this constant duel with one's own self is making him feel as if he is a perpetrator of a crime on his own heart and hence to maintain the sanctity of the status quo, the heart has to be chained and tortured to ensure it does not forget that the lover and the beloved are far off from each other and cannot meet.

Listen to the pain that makes him cry out to God on the circumstances that are making life a torture for him and you will feel the grief of an unspoken love - as if the chains are being replicated in our minds too; like the chains of caste, creed, community, religion, colour or even gender

The Slave, unmindful of these restrictions continues in the same vein of pain and agony:

Jaane Ye Kaun Meri Rooh Ko Chhookar Guzraa
Ek Qayamat Huyee Bedaar, Khuda Khair Kare

The Slave further says that somewhere in the depths of his heart, he feels a soft caress of his beloved and while doing so that feather-like touch makes him forget for some time the pains of his heart - it's as if the day of final reckoning has come and the heart feels that the love of the beloved will take him across that day on the wings of his deep love for her.

But as usual, the practicality of the circumstances of the slave have made him too pragmatic to accept that such visions of love and happiness exist for him. As he says in the very next couplet,

Lamha Lamha Meri Aankhon Mein Khinchi Jaati Hai
Ek Chamakti Huyee Talwaar, Khuda Khair Kare

The distinction between the social constraints and the desires of the heart have been so beautifully captured in this one couplet. The fact that a sword is drawn through the eyes of the slave is a very clear indication to the world that society will never accept this union and the sword will be the only source of arbitration when time comes to decide. The Slave knows that his love is not enough to satiate the blood-thirsty society and that they would also harm the one the Slave professes to and does love more than his own life and so for the sake of that love, he decides to let his love die

Khoon Dil Ka Na Chhalak Jaaye Khain Aankhon Se
Ho Naa Jaaye Kahin Izhaar, Khuda NAA Kare

And so finally the slave asks God to support him by ensuring that whatever may happen, the blood that flows out of his eyes due to the transgressing sword should not fall on the sweet face of the beloved and she should not understand under any cirumstance the love that the Slave has for his 'Master' - and this time he is not asking God for mercy, he's actually imploring God to ensure that the volcano in his heart does not break the serenity of the environment and that the world does not become the fiery labyrinth of his love - Khuda Khair Kare!

But this love, this feeling of oneness, this desire of the heart, can it be always hidden - Love does break all bonds and often the beloved or the lover or sometimes both are forced to either destroy their love or be destroyed in the course of that love! So it happened with Yakud and so it has happened with many thereafter. Love cannot be hidden neither can the feelings of love

It will always come out as a poet rightly pointed out:

Ishq Aur Mushq Chhupaaye Nahin Chhupte

This song by Kabban Mirza does not only stir my heart, it also wounds me a lot. What a voice, what a clarity of expression, what an emotional touch, what a feeling of devastation! Could anyone else have brought that rawness of a slave's heart that Kabban embodies so fearlessly. It's said that Kamal Amrohi was clear that only Kabban could provide that feeling of the slave's yearning that makes one empathise with him and how true was he! Indeed, how true!

Khayam, that great maestro of unbelievable pieces of depth and refinement in human emotions has culled one of the greatest lyrics of the 1980s in Razia Sultana but what makes one feel the power of a doomed love are songs like these - what a composition, Sir! And lastly who can forget Kaifi Azmi for what he has written - impressive piece of art, impressive

The age of slaves and queens is past, but even today in modern India lots of slaves do not dare to love their queens since the spectre of the end is what reminds them of the viability of the case - and those that do - like Rizwanur end somewhere where it becomes difficult to ascertain what the slave got from his doomed love for the queen

And so the saga continues - Khuda Khair Kare!